Confessions of a Bed-Side Baptist | I Left My Church

Recently, I released answers to buzzing questions of why I had left my recent church. After I published and posted that, endless ideas were released to me! (Of course, with the help and encouragement of others.)

Soooo... I’m RE-launching my Youtube channel. The link is provided here: https://youtu.be/zFGlBVeO_Pk

From the recent blogs, I left off with the notice that I had some things that I wish to share with you all since I’ve been venturing “in my meadow” as a committed “bed-side baptist”.

So what other name to title this series except for Confessions of a Bed-Side Baptist?! My blogs will become reference points and almost like summarized notes for IGTVs and my YouTube channel. This series also serves to debunk churched statements and addressing issues that contradict Christians and our credibility to commission.

Considering this quarantine and mandated practice of social distancing to decrease the possibility of spreading COVID-19, we’ve witnessed an undeniable SHIFT for big “c” churches to adjust. For many congregations, you HAVE to be online now. And hate to break it to you... you are now physically a bed-side baptist, couch-side protestant, kitchen table methodist, holy potty pentecostal, condo catholic, an apartment anglican and whatever creative name you can think of that doesn’t involve leaving outside to be inside of a church.

Aye yeeeerrrrr! Welcome to the party, y’all! Bring the communion cups out! It’s litty for Jesus! For the adults, you can have real wine and bread now. You know you were secretly wishing for that in service anyway. I won’t tell though. For the children, get them ice cream-wasted! Or smoothie-wasted depending how healthy you’re feeling as a parent. I won’t judge if you choose the not-so healthy choice.

I won’t hold you... Being the overseer of BSB Ministries and all its departments has been lonely. A little tiring, too. Some Sundays, I’m the worship leader, announcer, deacon and other offices ALL in one. Those naps be love though!

Once upon a time, in a far away land, it was strongly emphasized and—actually, noticing it was overly emphasized—that one is mandated to be IN a church or to JOIN a congregation to be merely considered a right-standing believer or to grow in their relationship with Jesus. Wow oh wow, my oh my, look at how times have certainly changed. It seems just like last month leaders were excited for the people that were going to fully invest their bodies into their church and join.

Oh wait... It was last month. Hmmm.

Continues.

Now, my skepticism side is in full effect of asking these questions on the behalf of the unchurched. Do people really need to be a part of the big “c” church to receive what the Lord has for them? Or to fellowship? Or to receive salvation? Are church settings the only place where people can meet steadfast, Spirit-led Christians? How much of technology is the devil? (As if you’re Bobby Boucher’s mama... from Waterboy.) I’ll let you answer that for yourself as we have no choice but to use social media platforms to connect, communicate and congregate.

But the gag is... I used to only think I’d flourish inside of a church atmosphere being a devoted church-goer because let’s face it... That’s all I used to hear as a child and the past two years. That’s also what I told other Christians. (And Lord, I repented from relaying that deceiving statement before but I repent again because I was wrong.)

Check it though... Before my rededication to my faith, I was adamant that you can still encounter the presence of Jesus WITHOUT joining the big “c” church. Cues Chris Brown. Look at me, now. (That was for you Anissa!) Look where God has told me to return? Tables have turned for myself! Ain’t that something?

For some of you, I don’t know who, but the Lord is using your hesitation, anticipation and other thoughts or feelings to join a church as protection. Protection from what? Well... He may not entrust the specified leadership with you and the impartation He was set aside for you, yet or if ever.

He may be preserving you from experiencing church hurt, like I did, because He knows you’ll throw away your progress. He may want you to strengthen some gifts and characteristics in you first. For me, I was asked to leave because He no longer entrusted the leadership with me. Shrugs. Unfortunate but ‘tis true.

That may serve as possible answers to why people are no longer active in your life or you’re in certain settings anymore.

I never leave room for interpretation or implication. I am extremely calculated and intentional with what I say. Understand and know what I am NOT saying or have said is: “don’t ever go to church.” No! Absolutely not! Joining a big “c” church is a great thing! Joining my recent church was one the BEST decisions I’ve ever made. You learn and have access to resources from leaders with applicable teachings that contribute to your transfiguration.

You explore different altitudes and lows with Jesus. In addition, you learn how to thoroughly research, study scripture and analyze sermons for yourself. You do meet genuine and authentic people who will love you back to life even if you’re no longer in the congregation. But you do not HAVE to join or to be involved in the big “c” church to experience all of this. It helps; however, it is not the end all or be all.

But what I came to know is: Your unwavering faith in the Lord and obedience to Abba’s Son and Counselor steers the path of your growth and determines your blessings—tangible and non-tangible. It has everything to do with your pursuit and the intensity of zeal you have for Jesus. That’s what fueled and ignited my exponential growth when I was a part of my recent church. It still does. Mary Magdalene, Ruth and King David had the same mentality.

Towards the end of my recent blogs, I mention two dreams and the two concluding locations were representations of what would happen to my relationship with Jesus if I stayed (the hallway=familiar place but stagnate, dull and lifeless) or left (my meadow=unchartered but thriving, vibrant and bright). Best believe it! I was choosing the latter!

(Side-note: This isn’t restricted or limited to the mention of church involvement. It’s anything that God doesn’t see fit to be of benefit to serve you any longer. It’s expiration date has arrived.)

During the beginning of my “meadow” journey, I was drawn into seclusion to spend time by myself and to be consecrated. No, not concentrated. Con-see-crate-ted. It is the conscious and willing decision to devote all of you towards Abba, His Son and the Holy Spirit. A little John Legend action, ya know.

It isn’t fasting. Fasting could be a practice or an example of consecration. Consecration requires more intentionality to pray, to worship, to prostrate, to study, to be reverent, to be still, to be zoned in and to be focused on what God is doing. You are letting Jesus, others, yourself and, even, Satan know you are purposely and purposefully setting yourself apart for Divine Work to occur inside of you to manifest itself in all you do to accomplish His will for you. It’s a stance and a choice.

I shared a revelation (light bulb moment) where the thought crossed my mind eating some muy deliciosos street tacos, “God asked Abraham to leave a familiar place. Don’t think He won’t ask you, Ebony.”

That led to my reading of Genesis. With that, I recognized I had been imparted an Abrahamic gift of faith. You all may be like, “that’s amazing!” Yes. It’s amazing. But I, on the other hand, wasn’t too excited but I felt honored. In a blunt way, it entails for you to go through a lot of stuff and you can only rely on, depend on and trust in God alone. Not your works. Not other people either. But Jehovah. God requires a lot of you and from you. Basically... you shouldn’t say no because it’ll be disobedient. That’s only if you’re courageous enough to accept. And I’m over that level of immaturity of spiritual milk. I want the mongo burger of His spiritual feeding!

Put me in the game coach!

Abraham was deemed thee Hall of Fame example of being the iconic, faithful and obedient believer of YAHWEH (pronounced: Yah-Way). He was the Babe Ruth of faith. Always remembered and mentioned in every season. The Jackie Robinson of resilience. Renown for standing against and combatting the odds. The Cal Ripken of obedience. Always showed up. He was the Roberto Clemente of legacy. The first of his kind. And, yes, he surpassed our beloved and the recent, Mamba. He didn’t have quotes. He’d just do it—like Nike.

(I love American sports. Please don’t be surprised if I make metaphors or analogies about them every time. Plus, opening day for baseball was postponed and I had a hot date with myself. Ugh. I hate standing myself up.)

Reflecting and reading, I paid attention to scriptures: Genesis 12:1-4, Genesis 15:1, Genesis 22:1-2. But I noticed something Abraham said to the Lord in Genesis 22:1-2 that caught my attention and reminded me of something... “Here I am.” Plenty of times I glossed over that to get to the interesting part where God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son. Like really, Lord? A bit much don’t You think?

When I read it in October, I noticed It (the Living Word) reading back to me, “Here,” as in, saying, “Present,” during a teacher’s roll call. (Reread that again to support the cliché response we once followed.) Another name for the Lord is The Great I AM. So I read it as, “Present...Lord.” I am answering roll call to let You know I’m in class. I am answering roll call to let You know I am ready to learn. So with that, I wanted to go deeper and pay attention to this response.

Another way I received it was “Here,” as if handing something over or giving something to someone. (But not as aggressive as your mom might hand you something.) “I’m offering...Lord.” I have something to give You. I am offering myself to You, Abba. And even, Right here, right now, I’m answering Your call.

This is a repetitive response from other great Biblical figures like Moses, Ananias, Prophets Samuel and Isaiah. I realized in 2018, I had journaled an Isaiah moment where I said, “Here I am. Send me.” I talk about this more on my YouTube channel. But the Lord was taking me on my word to be a willing servant. He’ll do the same for anyone who says, prays or even sings: “Yes, Lord, Yes.” “Purify my heart.” “Make new wine out of me.” “So will I.” “Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” “I’m gonna lay down my burden down by the riverside.” No matter what the statement of willingness, He will react to it!

Heads up! Jesus WAITS for that set up of you being desolate and desperate with overwhelming emotions to change because you’ll say something or some things He’ll remember. He’ll come back for you. He’ll leave the 1 for the 99.

At the beginning of 2018, the question was posed, “What would your life look like if you went all in all year with Jesus?” I thought, “EXTRAORDINARY! Whatchu mean?”

With what I’ve grown and growing to know, I’m going to leave you with some questions: What would your life look like if you answered, “Here, I am,” in response to Him beckoning you by calling your name? What would your life look like if you obeyed Jesus? What would your life look like if you were relentless in your pursuit of seeking the Kingdom of righteousness? What would your life look like if you encountered true passionate, limitless and passionate adornment? What would your life look like if you fell in love with a Savior?

Until next time.

Lovingly,

Ebony M. Acton 🌸